What I learned:
We spend so much of our waking (and sometimes sleeping) moments fixated on what happened yesterday, last week, last year and stressing about our tomorrows. I remember the first time I managed to catch myself fretting and reminded myself to focus on this current moment, the sense of relief was overwhelming. The worry, stress and furrowed brows instantly lifted and I could just be… the trick was staying there!
When we spend our time regretting or fighting things that have happened to us in the past, or worrying about what our future may hold, we are focussing on things we can’t directly control or change. Yes, we can ‘influence’ certain things but we all know that life is pretty unpredictable and can hit harder than anyone or anything! When it does, we need to be able to build ourselves up to cope and get through to the other side. We can only do that in the present moment as this moment is the only place where anything meaningful can happen. So, being present and accepting reality is crucial in flexing this muscle.
Our thoughts are our trusted companion… they are there with us day and night, scheming, praising, belittling, telling us we can or can’t do something. A friend of mine, who suffered from depression for a long while once shared a simple motto that helped him through this difficult time: "Don’t buy into your thoughts”. At the time I simply nodded and moved on, it's profoundness lost on me. It was only years later and through reading books like The Power of Now that I fully appreciated the power of this statement. Our thoughts are ours to mould… we create them and hence we can change them to suit us. To do this, however, we need to first accept that 'we' and ‘they' are not one… but rather we are like a third eye, looking in on ourselves and our thoughts from a neutral position, deciding whether they suit us or not, and acting accordingly.
How it helped me as a leader:
Raising our own and other people’s self awareness, reminding ourselves to stay present and questioning our thoughts is a relentless exercise. Making this practice second nature takes time and practice, especially under times of stress and pressure where we tend to revert back to auto pilot and get caught up in our own thoughts. This does nothing to support us, our team or our colleagues around us. However I’ve found that I am getting better at catching myself, bringing myself back to the present moment and detaching from my thoughts so I can look at them objectively and choose the best way forward. This is enabling me to be more present and focussed on my clients and their needs.
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